


Only Everyone Can Judge Me

by DarkMindsMatter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Borderline Personality Disorder, Death, Depression, Other, Sadness, Schizophrenia, lonely, mom died, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMindsMatter/pseuds/DarkMindsMatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boy loses his mother and has to leave everything he knows to go live with a father he hasn't seen in 8 years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello, Robert.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first original work that I am posting. Please comment and let me know what you think and share it with your friends. I just want to give a small formatting note. Italics are either exaggeration (generally just one word) or internal thoughts (generally more than one word) its pretty easy to tell. I just wanted to clarify. Thanks so much all!

"Mom. Can we please stay in Cheyenne? I don't wanna go to stupid Portland," the boy sitting in the front seat of the car whined," I mean, what's so great about Portland anyway?"

The woman driving looked at her son and sighed. "You know I got a job offer out there. Just make the most of it. Okay, Ryley?" She gave him one last sympathetic look before turning her eyes back to the road...

Just in time to see a semi-truck. And it was coming straight at them.  
. . .  
Ryley tried to peel his eyelids apart, but it felt as if they were glued shut. His limbs were heavy, mind foggy, throat dry. he reckoned he must have been asleep for a long time.

Finally gathering the strength to pry his eyes open, he was met with a white ceiling. looking around, he noticed needles and tubes coming out of his arms, attached to countless monitors and machines, the rhythmic beeping maddening. There was a nurse scribbling notes on a clipboard who didn't notice him wake up. he didn't bother to get her attention.

As he lay there, the last memory he had slowly floated to the surface of his mind. His mom had been talking to him while driving and she hadn't paid enough attention to the road. They got smashed by a semi-trailer. Ryley's mom hadn't been wearing a seat belt and she died on impact, but Ryley got hurt badly. One of his legs was fractured and his ribs were cracked and bruised. He also had a concussion , which explained the coma he had been in for the past two weeks.

Finally deciding his throat hurt more than his heart, he pressed the button to call a nurse.

Three people rushed into his room, a doctor and two nurses all shocked. "You're awake..." said the nurse on the left as the one on the right quickly moved to take his vitals. The doctor immediately started rattling off questions

"How do you feel? Does anything hurt? Head? Ribs? Leg? Do you remember what happened?"

Ryley sighed. this is exactly why he hadn't wanted these stupid people in his room. They never shut up. "I'm fine okay?" He managed to choke out, Now can you get me some water?" He let out another sigh, trying to really get across how much he didn't want them there. They didn't take the hint.

He spent the next twenty minutes going through checks of his body and mind.

And he still didn't get his water  
. . .  
Ryley spent the next month in the hospital alone. But this was the day he finally got to go home...well not _home._ From what he could gather through eavesdropping, they were sending him to his dad's house in middle-of-who-cares, Pennsylvania. He would have no friends, he'd have to start at a new school. And worst of all he wouldn't have his mom. They wouldn't even let him go to the funeral. they had said his mental state was too 'fragile' at the time.

A man in a suit walked into his room, chattering into an earpiece, only giving a slight nod in Ryley's direction as some half-assed form of a hello. 

"Nice to see you too, Dad," he mumbled to himself, his father not even recognizing that he made a noise, let alone giving him the time of day to ask what it was he shad said. He gave a soft huff and sat back against his pillow, pulling out his phone. he started a message to his friend Tyler 

Ryley: Looks like Im not comin back, man. This fuckin sucks. Save me :( 

Hitting send on the message, he put in one earbud, playing the song "You" by Keaton Henson. It kind of reminded him of his mom.  
Ryley had been really close with his mom. She was his friend, his confidant, his teacher and his caretaker. All of that had been torn from him in a matter of seconds. And it was all because he had complained about not wanting to move. If only he had kept his mouth shu- 

His thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of his phone against his stomach. it was Tyler. 

Tyler: Really, dude? I'm gonna miss u. lemme know when ur settles in and ill skype ya. Good luck. miss u already 

Ryley gave a gentle smile in the general direction of his phone and he put it back down. 

"Hey, kiddo," he heard from across the room. He slowly turned his head to look at his father, nauseated by the pet name. 

"Hello, Robert," Ryley said, keeping his voice cold and disconnected. _This was the same man who left when I was 8. He didn't even visit for Christmas. What makes him think he could just come in and everything would be fine. What a prick!_

Robert gave a pained smile. "Why don't we get you to your new home. Bet you're tired of this boring hospital room. Won't a change of scenery be nice?"The man's voice was sickly sweet, like he was trying to win Ryley over with gentle words. 

_No way in hell, old man. ___Ryley thought to himself, but he said nothing. Robert picked up Ryley's bag but he snatched it away and walked out to the car, both earbuds in. He hoped that got the point across.  
. . .  
The drive 'home' was down right painful. The awkward silence between the two males was deafening and left absolutely no room for comfort. Ryley was texting on his phone, trying to distract himself from all of the questions burning on the tip of his tongue. he just wanted to know _why_ But of course he was too stubborn to ask. And then there was Robert, sitting there, some semblance of an explanation, teasing his lips apart, only to have them fall shut again, not a word spoken. he figured Ryley didn't want to hear it. he figured he didn't care. So the two of them sat in silence during the 18 hour drive to Gettysburg. 


	2. Not like it mattered anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SLIGHT DRUG USE

Ryley's mom hugged him tightly, petting his hair as he cried to her," Mom please. Don't go please! Stay with me..." He trailed off, tears overtaking his ability to speak.

"You know I want to stay, but I have to go. I just came to say goodbye. You'll be okay, Ryley. You're a strong young man."

Ryley looked up into his mother's soft, grass green eyes. The last thin he heard before he woke up was, "Make your mom proud."

Ryley sat up quickly and ended up whacking his head on the roof of the car. "Ah fuck!" he cried out as he sat back, clutching his forehead. The only response from his oh-so-caring father was a quick apology into his Bluetooth earpiece, then his conversation just continued. 

_Whatever. I don't need him to care._ he though bitterly before turning his thoughts back to his dream. Whether it was the ghost of his mother coming to say goodbye, or his grieving brain trying to comfort him, the dream was right. Ryley had to make his mom proud.

But he had no idea how. Nothing was okay. Everything was a upside down, inside out and backwards and there was nothing he could do to change it. He lost all his friends. He had to live with a guy who didn't know a thing about him, and, frankly, didn't seem to care. He leaned back in his chair and tossed his arm over his eyes, trying to sink back into blissful, problem-less sleep, but who could sleep with a lunatic business man chattering like a chipmunk two feet from their ear?

 _Not like it matters anyway._ Ryley thought, looking out the window. There was a light dusting of snow, covering everything in sight, making the world sparkle just a bit. Ryley was awestruck as he looked at the sparkling snow in wonder, until he saw a "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign pass by. His elation meltel like a snowflake on the tongue of a child with a fever.   
...   
Popping the door open and pushing it out with his foot till it stayed, Ryley grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and slowly walked to the door, absently biting his lip in thought. The house was absolutely huge, stretching across three yards worth of grass. 

Giving a look of disgust and apprehension at the glass French doors, he opened the door onto a modern living room, with a large kitchen, the floor plan open and spacious.

"Alright, kiddo. Your room is upstairs, first door on the left." Robert gave the boy's head a pat before walking into the office off the living room, door closing behind him. 

_Clearly someone doesn't want to be bothered_ Ryley thought to himself as he slowly trudged up the winding staircase. He easily found his room. Everything was white. _It looks like the fucking hospital. I can't even have a change of scenery?_ He threw his bag against the wall, crawled into the well-made white bed, and started texting Tyler, a single tear streaming down his cheek.

Ryley: Ugh save me from this hell

Tyler: Srry man. I kno it must suk.

Ryley: yeah. might nap. ttyl.

Ryley locked his phone and set it on the dresser, before walking to his bag, pulling out his sleeping pills, popping a few more than he needed, and drifting off into sweet, dreamless silence.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading. Let me know what you think. Hugs and cookies to all my Dark ones!


End file.
